Friday, 28 January 2011

First day at Lynx HQ

Mr Lynx: OK people Lynx Thrust is ready for launch, we need an ad pronto. Any Ideas?

Ad exec 1: What about a guy sprays himself with Lynx, he's at a bus stop and there's an old lady there, the bus is on the horizon and as he turns back to the old lady, she's got her legs spread open. So he just drills her. Misses the bus. Then it says Lynx Thrust, fuck the bus.

Mr Lynx: Good but no because he's not fucking the bus, if you could rework it so he fucks the bus, maybe put some tits on it. NEXT!?

Ad exec 2: How about a guy sprays himself with lynx so hard it burns his dick off, 'cos it's so potent and he's got a hot date and he's at the part where he's got to have sex and he looks nervous but when he looks down, he's now got a can of Lynx as his dick and he drills her with it. Then you get sperm coming out of the nozzle and it ends.

Mr Lynx: Hrmmm like it but it's a deodorant pulling machine not a sex appendage. Maybe if you showed him sewing it on or getting it surgically attached it'd be believable.

Ad exec 3: How about a man is having a massive shit, a proper double flusher and it smells bad so he sprays the Lynx to get rid of the smell and then suddenly the shit re-animates and rises out of the bog with a bikini on. Then he erm..

Mr Lynx: Drills it?

Ad exec 3: Yeah.

Mr Lynx: Your fired. What about you over there new guy, the hairy one.

Ad exec 4: I've got an idea, there's a footballer wearing lynx and he's running past this lineswoman and she puts her flag up, then all his teammates are complaining it's never offside etc. Then you see the footballer and he's got his flag up if you know what I mean and he says 'do me a favour love' and he drills her by the corner flag.

Mr Lynx: Excellent work Richard, just the right level of innuendo, sexism and lack of plausibility we need. Good work Keys I see a bright future for you here.