Thursday, 6 May 2010

10 Nick Clegg Facts, but which are true?

Nick Clegg is ace and here's why...

1: He was born in Chalfont ST Giles, which is cockney rhyming slang for piles or haemorrahoidadoids.... hemorhoids.... hammerrhaids.....
But don't hold that against him.

2: Whilst in Munich (place not film) he was convicted of burning cacti. It's unknown if there is any anti-cactus leglisation in the Lib Dem manifesto because I couldn't be bothered to read it.

3: He once starred with Helena Bonham Carter in a play about AIDS. Her head has since inflated severely...

4: He won a Financial Times journalism award in 1993 and his prize was a trip to Hungary. Hrmmm.

5: He is an excellent tracer, tracing many famous artworks and selling them on ebay under the seller name 'haroldbishopRIP' after his favourite Neighbours character.

6: He speaks six languages; English, Dutch, French, Spanish, German and Na'vi. Ok five languages.

7: An anagram of Nick Clegg is Egg 'n' Click, which was a sitcom he tried to get off the ground about an egg and tv remote who as he puts it 'live togther and get into compromising and amusing situations'.

8: He hosts regular town hall meetings at his constituency and is willing to take questions on any topic. Except cacti. He hates cacti.

9: His favourite song he says is Changes by David Bowie. Which is too obvious to be true, it is in fact Liquid Dreams by O-Town.

10: His favourite film is supposedly a French drama called The Class; again bollocks, it's White Chicks.