Tuesday, 30 September 2008

Phil 2.0

For the first time in ages I've had hefty doses of sleep for consecutive nights. I didn't know how fried I was before and now I feel like a new man. I read The Sunday Times cover to cover, watched travel programmes and whereas before I felt laboured while writing, I now feel re-energized and I'm pissing out ideas like a weak bladdered pensioner. What difference a weekend makes. Another significant factor was being able to spend quality time with my mother and some family. I may not be thrilled about her leaving the country but she made a fair point when she said that instead of seeing each other for a couple of hours every month, we'll see each other for a week or so every few months and better still with plenty of sun. So pros and cons I suppose...

I mourned the passing of Paul Newman who died of lung cancer aged 83. Great actor, maybe hung around too many barbecues...
Seriously though, the man was a true cinema great and humanitarian. He helped a lot of people in his life but never in a flashy way (*cough* Bono) and starred in some of my favourite films. The Hustler will always be my favourite performance of his by far.

As you can see I've rediscovered my zest for blogging too, before I couldn't blog to save my life. I literally could've been held at gunpoint and I wouldve just shrugged my shoulders and took one in the temple.

After many skint days it was nice to go out in town again and get leathered. Pulling in town is still a complete lottery. I'd say one in ten of the women I meet are remotely interesting and at best I'd get a number I'd never text or never get a reply from if she turned out to be really interesting. I'm just making an effort not to bother at all since three quarters of all my headaches are caused by the fairer sex. As we become increasingly dependent on social networks and technology it's tougher than ever to create romance from thin air in the way old people tell of meeting their spouses in a butchers or in a trench. I guess nowadays we're a hell of a lot fussier about who we like and we scrutinize on dress sense and how frequently they use 'lol' in texts.

I saw a wonderful piece of man-dancing that night which was like watching a fat George Michael bodypop. I'm not one to talk though since I'm not a very good dancer, but I'm crafty. Most of my dancing I would say is hand orientated, therefore in a crowd and from the waist up it looks like I'm busting some major moves when in fact my feet are virtually glued to the floor. It works to a point but alone I look like Douglas Bader on crack.

I was delving into a little politics the other day (as you do) and watching the first electoral debate between Obama and John McClane (actually McCain but McClane works far better for me) and it's interesting how even though surely a kettle up for Democrat could make sane people not vote Republican, Obama could not finish him off. Die Hard with a Republican is a heralded war hero and although as seemingly left wing as a Replublican can be, all the razzle dazzle will surely equate to more of the same humiliation poor yanks have had to suffer with eight years of Bush. Still as much as I like Obama and that he seems to represent change, I fear he may not have the hard edge to convince some that he's the right man for the job and once in the voting booth they'll think that Bruce Willis is running for office and they'll tick the wrong box.

In my own country it's far less clear cut. Gordon Brown looks like a half deflated ballon and has the charisma of a set of bagpipes. He also seems to have difficulty breathing and talking at the same time. His main opponent David Cameron looks far too young to run a country but his juvenility makes him very adept at turning Gordon Brown into the suited cabbage we all know and loathe. Shame Cameron seems to have no actual policy other than claiming to make pigs fly. Personally and I have no qualms disclosing this, but my first ever vote went to the Green Party purely because it was my favourite colour at the time. I still stck with them just out of curiosity of what they'd actually do if they won an election. They'd probably cock up big time, but by then I'll be on a plane to Fiji laughing as the country crumbles behind me. I'm starting to realize that running a country takes a bastard and Brown is a bigger bastard than Cameron will ever be. I still won't vote for either though.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

Jesus Christ Monkey Balls


I have been neglectful of this blog of late, truth is I have had virtually nothing interesting to say for the best part of a month.

It's been frightening, I have gone through days were all I have done is either complain about my job to other people or complain about the price of bread, why the Sky box doesn't work and Scouting for Girls. I went almost a full month as well without going to the cinema, devoting my attentions instead to bowling. I have bowled at least once a week for a while now and I can now bowl left handed, at angles and with various finger combinations. Still doesn't mean I win though since my house mate Bob is a compact bowling freak who can chuck the ball at high speed and gets more strikes than the Writer's Guild of America (That joke was about five months too late). The taking part is there though I suppose...

However things are turning around, I plan on at least two cinema visits next week (reviews will follow) and also this week I went to the zoo! Well West Midlands Safari Park to be precise, which shits all over Woburn Safari Park because the animals are brilliant! The only downside is that there are no monkeys but still there were lions, camels, giraffes and tigers, all up close and easy to gawp at.

The 7th October will be a momentous day as my Mother departs for Malta to a new home away from her only son (cue violin). She'd been talking about it for a year or so but it's only actually hitting me now that she really is going and I'm sad about it and also slightly worried and hoping she knows what she's doing out there.

Women? I am currently single and I think this is down to two factors:
1) I've had plenty of opportunities but one by one I am sure that I am botching them all
2) This may be down to my renewed interest in Football Manager 2008

Football Manager 2008 is, for those who don't know, a football/saawker management simulator whereby you manage a team and generally look at spreadsheets and watch dots move about on a screen. If you have no interest in the sport it's the dullest thing imaginable, for those for love it, it's more addictive than crack. Hours can pass by, friends are ignored, calls unanswered, meals skipped, shaving is neglected. Before you know it you've become Robinson Crusoe, alone and bearded, seeking a league title and a contract extension. I've played previous incarnations of the game for about a decade now, but my casual dipping of the last few years has become a full blown obsession again because Bowling Bob got himself a copy and now we are 'networked' (which isn't a euphemism for gayness). I'm now massively sleep deprived and such is my aggravation that my eyes are strained from staring at this laptop for so long days on end (I've even been developing an occasional twitch in my right eye, which I'm going to get looked at).

What are other things to mention, erm found a gem of a author/webauthor/general genius who is Greg Stekelman. Just visit www.themanwhofellasleep.com and laugh your buns off, wish I could be as funny as him...

Been watching a lot of South Park lately, forgot how funny it was and how it beats Family Guy like a drunk husband. Also just heard the new Kings of Leon album, which for one of my favourite bands disappointed me greatly. They seem to think they're evolving but save for two tracks the album is plodding and clogged up with bland Edge-style fret wanking. I also recommend the book 'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay' by Michael Chabon and I also urge somebody talented (sit down Ratner) to make it into a film.

Also thought of an invention that will become a story that I just thought of now that I will work on. I have about five stories that I think are cracking premises but thong thick in actual substance. Still I'm no Dostoyevsky (wow I spelt it right first time, the little red line didn't show up or anything!) so I'm sure that if I ever finish any of them they'll be just as thin as everything else I've done. I hope that over time my style can mature and I can be motivated enough to even attempt to break some conventions and be truly innovative. One can hope...

The website will soon be surged with updates, there's a new story (all 6000 words of it) and a few film reviews will drip feed on as well so keep peeled, even though by the time I've seen the latest films you probably will have too. Way to keep ahead of the curve eh? Also there is an e-mail box on the 'about' page for anything you'd be nice enough to send.

Ciao for now

www.philsavory.co.uk